


Checkers with Vulgora

by CrinklyTinfoil



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Because Vulgora can't handle chess, Checkers, Comedy, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 20:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21203795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrinklyTinfoil/pseuds/CrinklyTinfoil
Summary: The apprentice challenges Vulgora to a game.





	Checkers with Vulgora

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shiba_with_a_Typewriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiba_with_a_Typewriter/gifts).

“It’s your turn.” Vulgora leans over, their red complexion even darker than usual as they glare at the board in front of them. It’s been noted in the past that you tend to make bad choices when it comes to the courtiers in Nadia’s palace, but this might be the worst one yet.

You have a question, a question that desperately requires answering. How you corralled Vulgora into playing this game was easy enough. You promised them something big shiny and sharp if they could beat you at a game of chess. Their first reaction, of course, was to ask why they couldn’t just hit you, and thus receive the same reward. You assured them that it was hidden away somewhere they would never find it.

So now the two of you set a checkers board on a table, the sun from the window beside you filling the room. Although originally it’d been chess, it quickly became clear to you after you had started that this would be far too infuriating of a task for Vulgora, so you switched it out for something a bit easier. You can hear Vulgora’s heel clicking angrily against the floor as they slowly move a metal gauntlet out, pushing a checker piece forward, before looking up at you with an irritable expression.

“There, outmatch that!” You stare at the board, realizing that Vulgora has perfectly lined you up so you can jump two of their pieces, thus gaining a king for your efforts. Quickly you jump over their pieces, receiving an angry yell from them as you land on the far side of the board. 

“It’s okay, champ, you’ve still got this,” you say with a comforting smile. Herein lies the heart of the game you are playing. You are curious what exactly will happen to you if you lowkey annoy Vulgora to the point where they finally lose it.

“HOW DARE YOU!” Their echoing roar is sure to have been heard throughout the entire palace, yet you keep your cool, and give them a friendly smile.  
“Don’t worry about it buddy, I’m sure you’ll come out on top!” They hit the wall beside them, and you note with slight alarm that cracks form where their fists hit. They stare down at the board intently, clearly determined to beat you. 

“This is stupid,” they inform you in a snide voice. “If this were a battle, I’d crack your pathetic skull against the ground.”  
“I’m sure you would,” you say sympathetically, wondering why it is you’re so keen to find death on this day. Luckily for you, your tone seems to escape them. They are, after all, very concentrated on the board. They poke at one of their checkers before glancing up at you, their yellow eyes brimming with barely controlled hate. 

“So I can’t move this back, you pathetic worm?” they demand, sounding livid. You shake your head, wondering if you should let them take a piece. Their scowl widens as the glare at the board more intensely.

Finally, they push another checker forward, before sitting back, glaring at you. You promptly jump another one of their checkers with your queen, causing them to slam their fist onto the table in front of you, making the pieces fly into the air. 

“YOU SAID WE COULDN’T MOVE PIECES LIKE THAT, YOU FILTHY LIAR!” A furious metal finger is pointed at you as the hue on their face deepens even more.  
“Oh geez, pal, I’m sorry… but you see, this is a king. I can go anywhere I want with a king.” You’re impressed that they don’t throw the board, but you quickly have to rearrange the pieces on it, seeing as how all of them have flown off in different directions. You smile up at them, and your gesture is not returned as they silently fume. 

“I’m not your pal, you peasant!” they snarl, their upper lip curling in disgust. You continue to smile pleasantly, sensing that your life may soon be ending.  
“No need to get upset Pontifex Vulgora, I assure you you’re doing just fine!” You lie without remorse as you see the board is very clearly tipped in your favor. They have only managed to take one of your checkers, and you have taken four of theirs.

Vulgora is glaring at your king, and you can see them considering their moves. You wait, silently anticipating their next freakout as you become aware that they seem to be eyeing a move that is definitely illegal. They reach for a checker, but you clear your throat. 

“Er, Vulgora, you remember that you can’t jump backwards right? You need a king for that.” Vulgora grabs at the pointy hat on top of their head in a clear gesture of fury. “Then give me a king! You have one, this is clearly unfair!” They look like they’re either about to hop around in fury, or smash something into oblivion. Honestly, you’re fine with either. This has gone on far longer than you could have ever thought was possible.  
“Oh Vulgora, don’t be silly, you have to get to the other side of the board before I can give you a king.” 

Vulgora’s voice rings out, filling the air around you. “I WILL SMEAR THE WALLS WITH YOUR BLOOD IF YOU DO NOT GIVE ME A KING!”  
You let out a fake laugh, shaking your head in a teasing gesture. “Vulgora, my buddy, I can’t just give you a king, that would be cheating!” You wave your finger, feeling more and more like you might not survive this encounter. There is a deathly silence as Vulgora, pale face beginning to turn almost as red as their outfit, slowly pushes a checker forward. Ah ha… now it’s time for a trap.

Quickly, you push your checker into position, before leaning back and waiting. It takes Vulgora far longer than it really should to see the obvious: you’ve allowed a checker to be put into the danger zone. With a cry of victory, they move their checker over yours, before smacking it away with a furious hand. “Ah ha! You worthless mound of flesh, take that!”

“Wow, good job Vulgora, you really got me!” They give you a suspicious look, and you wonder if they might be catching onto the fact that you’ve been talking down to them this entire time. It seems they relinquish their misgiving quickly though, instead leaning back and folding their arms, looking highly pleased. You give them a second, knowing that this next move is what’s going to seal your fate. You reach out your arm, and take your king. Their eyes narrow instantly, clearly suspicious that they’ve been duped. They are right to think that way, as you hop your checker across five more of their pieces, clearing the board. They stare, and you can tell you’ve finally done it.

“You…” they growl, staring at the board in fury. Deciding that you want to die even more, you hitch a smile onto your face.  
“You know, I think you almost had me. Want to play a second round?” You expect their scream of rage as they strike the checker board from the table, sending the pieces flying across the room. You expect the chair being shattered against the floor, and you even expect the table being pounded into tiny pieces by those sharp metal gauntlets. However, for some reason, you do not expect what happens next.  
Their yellow eyes fasten on you, and, deciding you’ve come this far, you flash your most winning smile.  
“Don’t worry about it, buddy, you can’t win everything.” 

Vulgora lunges, and in a second, your body crashes through the window that had been so serenely shining sun down into the game room just moments ago. You suppose you have the answer to your question now, though you really feel like the consequences aren’t going to be worth it as you plummet towards the moat below, watching the water roil and writhe in a terrifying dance of expectations, living things squirming about in its depths.


End file.
